this tomato only cost me $73!

this tomato only cost me about $73! or something close to that.
i sound bitter, but my garden is really one of my favorite things.
it’s just a big salad bar experiment, though i inadvertantly invited some varmints to the party. i can’t really blame the varmints (i like the word VARMINT); if i were a scavenger always a-hustlin’ for food and suddenly there was a magical, un-guarded salad bar in my ‘hood, i’d partake too.

but enough is enough, and i’ve been fighting back. kind of. i’m using all natural and organic tinctures and oils and even made my own pepper spray using habaneros, cayennes, garlic, dish soap and water. that seems to be attracting ants now, though. i think it’s the peppermint dish soap…

so, i’m trying to do it all organically, and i believe in the local food movement and growing food organically — i really do — but i am also beginning to see how commercial growers decided that the same chemicals used to make BOMBS in WWII would effectively keep away ALL pests from squash FOREVER. i’m starting to think that neem oil, marigolds and spinosad should be replaced by some horrific chemical i can find at my local hardware store that will inevitbly cause the squirrels in my neighborhood to mutate and grow third eyes. as entertaining and twisted as that might be, and though it would likely land me a spot on Verminators, i can’t bring myself to do it.

so, here i go again with some homemade concoction that will HOPEFULLY keep these nocturnal beasties away. damn the varmints! and why the hell do they have to eat only half of the tomato? they leave it on the vine and move on to the next. i think they’re hiding in a crevice somewhere, peering out, laughing hysterically as i shake my fist in the air like mr. mcgregor. they might as well poop on my pillow and eat my cereal while they’re at it.

but the tomatoes i have managed to save have been delicious. and apparently rodents don’t like cucumbers or peppers. so i guess that’s somethin.


1 Comment

Filed under food., humor.

One response to “this tomato only cost me $73!

  1. Bluegirlie

    I am having a delicious, $135 B-L-Tomato-from-the-garden sandwich for lunch today. Yum. Thanks

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s