Such great heights.

I like grand views from the highest places, but I’m afraid of heights. I know, it’s hilarious — the tall girl is afraid of heights? Shut it. I climbed a 19,000+ foot mountain, and I’ve been sky-diving, but looking down from anywhere more than 3 stories up is downright terrifying. I can’t explain it, but if you share this fear, you know what I’m talking about. I know in my brain that I’m not going to fall off of the Empire State Building, and if I were to fall off, I would be dead, yet I still feel a need to hold on to something and shuffle around as if the floor is going to drop out beneath my feet and holding on to something would make things better. And my feet sweat perfusely when I’m up high. So weird. What effed up fight or flight BS is that? The mind is truly a powerful thing.

So we have this tiny apartment with low ceilings and a great view of the Duomo, one of the biggest symbols of the city. I’m looking at it right now from the terrace. it’s fantastic, though every 6 or 8 minutes there’s a waft of sewage stench that’s ungodly. Anyway, back to the duomo. Ever since we stepped out on our little terrace our first day here, I’ve pointed up to the cupola and said, “I want to go up there. Let’s wave — I wonder if they can see us.” Today I finally made it to the top, sweaty feet and all. I was white knuckle-gripping an ancient marble column atop the dome and taking it all in. It’s magnificent. You see the whole town from up there, plus, we walked around the inside of the duomo, so we got to see the masterpiece work of art from just a few feet away. Incredible. Terrifying. Beautiful. Exhilerating! Glad to be on the ground again.

In addition to fearing yet embracing heights, I also really like tall people in little places, so I’ve come to making Brian stop at small doors, stand in rooms with low ceilings, and I’ve even tried to take a photo of him with a little person nearby (it didn’t work out the way I wanted it. i will try again.) The juxtaposition of small and tall is amusing to me. The fact that there’s a Gucci children’s section, complete with trench coats and riding boots with cashmere lining, is amusing to me.

And I suppose that’s part of why I like the terrifying exhileration of going to the top of something even though I get sweaty and i might freeze in my tracks and visibly start to freak out. I really do think they can see us waving.



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